Good morning bitches! Turd Ferguson here, with your NCFFL Week 3 Power Rankings!
What a wild week it's been. We have Ray Rice beating his wife, Adrian Peterson beating his kid(s). I know one thing...Mike Rizzo is salivating over all these thug RB's. Move over Marshawn Lynch!
If you thought the first 2 weeks of the NCFFL season were intense...you thought wrong. Dumbass. Those weeks were just a little primer before the shit really goes down. And the shit is going down....RIGHT FUCKING NOW! That's right, this week, we start our divisional matchups!
As you all know, we have have 2 conferences (Burgundy and Mantooth), and within each conference, there are 2 divisions (North and South). The divisions look like this:
Burgundy North:
Rizzo
Jake
Nate
Burgundy South:
Jeff
Garret
Rickie
Mantooth North:
Adam
Alex
Sam
Mantooth South:
Mike
Bob
Tim
So why does any of this matter? Well, in regards to the schedule, you play every team in your division twice per year (you play every other team once). But more importantly, there are playoff implications. The top 4 teams in each conference will make the playoffs. The 2 division winners will be the 1 & 2 seeds, with the 2 wildcard teams taking the 3 & 4 seed. So intra-conference games matter, and the intra-division games matter even more!
Over the next 3 weeks, we will face each team in our divison once, with an intra-conference game thrown in for good measure, before going back to a 2-week stretch of cross-conference play. So you ladies better BRING IT over the next 3 weeks!
Ok, enough about that, let's get into the rankings!
What a wild week it's been. We have Ray Rice beating his wife, Adrian Peterson beating his kid(s). I know one thing...Mike Rizzo is salivating over all these thug RB's. Move over Marshawn Lynch!
If you thought the first 2 weeks of the NCFFL season were intense...you thought wrong. Dumbass. Those weeks were just a little primer before the shit really goes down. And the shit is going down....RIGHT FUCKING NOW! That's right, this week, we start our divisional matchups!
As you all know, we have have 2 conferences (Burgundy and Mantooth), and within each conference, there are 2 divisions (North and South). The divisions look like this:
Burgundy North:
Rizzo
Jake
Nate
Burgundy South:
Jeff
Garret
Rickie
Mantooth North:
Adam
Alex
Sam
Mantooth South:
Mike
Bob
Tim
So why does any of this matter? Well, in regards to the schedule, you play every team in your division twice per year (you play every other team once). But more importantly, there are playoff implications. The top 4 teams in each conference will make the playoffs. The 2 division winners will be the 1 & 2 seeds, with the 2 wildcard teams taking the 3 & 4 seed. So intra-conference games matter, and the intra-division games matter even more!
Over the next 3 weeks, we will face each team in our divison once, with an intra-conference game thrown in for good measure, before going back to a 2-week stretch of cross-conference play. So you ladies better BRING IT over the next 3 weeks!
Ok, enough about that, let's get into the rankings!
 |
| #1 again bitches |
1. Stone Cold Killer Kocks (record = 2-0) - The Kocks continue to stand alone as the team to beat. FML.
2. T. Clifton Rageaholics (record = 2-0) - If the Kocks are the clear #1, our defending champs are the clear #2. This team is loaded with talent.
 |
| Easy with the smack-talk there, Sack-O |
3. East L.A. Scrotal Calipers (record = 1-1) - Piss-poor effort by the ScroCal's last week. This team reminds me of the 2012 'nators, and that's not a good thing. With the obvious exceptions of McCoy and Sanders, this looks like a roster full of boom-or-bust type players.
 |
| I'll let you down when it counts |
4. Dirty Mike and the Boys (record = 1-1) - Dirty Mike and the Boys are 1-1, and heading to Judson St. for a showdown with the 0-2 Cardinals. A win could give them a 2 game lead in the Burgundy-South. Rickie better hope Vernon Davis can play this week, in his juicy matchup with Arizona.
 |
| Rizzo didn't want to draft me. Now I'm his MVP |
5. North Penfield Impregnators (record = 2-0) - Thanks mostly to Randall Cobb, the 'nators have managed to start 2-0. A rash of injuries, and a lot of question marks at RB still have us doubting this team's long-term potential
 |
| I told you I wouldn't get those 9 points, Rizzo |
6. Steel Curtain (record = 0-2) - The Curtain lost a heart-breaker this week, dropping them to 0-2. They are currently the 6th highest-scoring team in the league, so don't write them off yet.
7. Judson Cardinals (record = 0-2) - If Jeff isn't going to participate, I'm not gonna waste time at work thinking of something interesting to say about his team.
 |
| "When you want to win a game, you have to teach. When you lose a game, you have to learn (not to draft Ray Rice)." |
8. Turn Down 4 WATT (record = 1-1) - Scoring 82 points is bad. Losing, and getting smack-talked by Mike White is even worse. That's the situation that legendary Fantasy Football coach
 |
| I told you not to start me |
9. The Collosus of Clout (record = 1-1) - Jake almost squeaked out a victory last week, losing in the final minutes of the Colts-Eagles game. He'll need a big game out of Phillip Rivers (vs. Buffalo) this week to take down the 'nators. Fortunatly, he'll have a front row seat, as he and Rizzo will be at the game together. It's gonna be a long ride home for one of them.
 |
| Go to bed Jake |
10. Mexican Cobras (record = 1-1) - The Cobras got into the win-column last week. This week, they'll try to make it 2 in a row, at the expense of the two-time defending Sack-O.
11. Password is Taco (record = 1-1) - Mike White has apparently renamed his team once again? There are going to be a lot of pissed off fans with "Password is Taco" jerseys this week. No word on whether or not the team will be doing a "Jersey Buy-Back" program.
12. Oakland Outlaws (record = 0-2) - The Outlaws got a huge game out of Dez, but it wasn't enough to take out the 'nators last week. They'll try to get into the win-column when they face the TEFL-ANDRES (Password is Taco) this week.
Well, that's it for this week. Jake, Sam, Rizzo, Tim, Nate, and Alex, make sure you get your Last Man Standing picks in!
~TF
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