2015 Week 2 Power Rankings

A'hoy hoy!

Turd Ferguson here, with your 2015 Week 2 Power Rankings!

It sure was a wild first week in the NCFFL, wasn't it?  We had all kinds of draft drama (RAC Douchers showing up late, half of the teams forgetting to bring their dues, Jake either criticising every pick, or shouting out the names of half the players on Rizzo's draft board way before their ADP).  That brought us to Week 1, where the defending champs fell in embarrassing fashion to "the worst team in the league", the 'nators looking like the 'nators of 2008 (the last time they were any good).... I'm sure there was other stuff... but I don't really give a shit about the rest of those teams.  Fuck 'em.

Well I think that's enough of an intro... I know how badly you want these Power Rankings.  Let's just get into it, shall we?

They really said Garret had the worst team??? LMAO!

1.  Forever Unclean (record = 1-0) - In the days after the draft, one anonymous league owner was quoted as saying that Forever Unclean was "clearly the worst team in the league".  Well, Garret dropped 152 points on that anonymous owner last week, so he clearly gets the #1 spot on Ol' Turd's Power Rankings.

What was going through Peterson's head when he heard the Phillips-Skins drafted him.

2.  The Washington Phillips-Skins (record = 1-0) - The only team in the Mantooth North who cracked 100 points this week, the Sacko-Skins looked like a King of the Week contender….until Peterson laid an egg on Monday night.  I don't expect that to continue, and the rest of this team looks pretty damn good.  Could this be the year of El Pollo?

I'm here to drink protein and win fantasy chanpionships..... and I'm all out of protein

3.  North Penfield Impregnators (record = 1-0) - The 'nators missed out on all the good RB's early, but got decent contributors in Stewart, Sankey, and (hopefully) Spiller.  If this team gets solid QB play, and guesses right with their Flex spot each week, they should be a contender.

I'll see you in 6-8 weeks, mother fuckers!

4.  Mexican Cobras (record = 1-0) - The Dez Bryant injury is a heartbreaker, but Carlos Hyde might be a legit stud at RB.  If this team can get healthy down the stretch, they should be a force to be reckoned with.

Better luck next week, Bob!

5.  Oakland Outlaws (record = 0-1) - Usually, I'm writing about what a lucky bitch Bob is, as he scores 80 points a week, yet somehow keeps winning.  Well this week, Bob had the 5th highest score (128 points), yet lost to the 'nators.    The Outlaws have the looks of a well-rounded team (and Bob IS a lucky bitch) so the Outlaws should bounce back.

I can't believe Jeff wasted that 7th round draft pick!

6.  Judson Cardinals (record = 1-0) - The Cardinals (aka The 2012 Fantasy AllStars) look fairly good on paper…. But this team looks fragile to me.  I'm sure most teams have already been bombarded with horrible trade offers,

"At least he held onto his helmet"

7.  T. Clifton Rageaholics (record = 0-1) - I'm surprised the Rageaholics didn't do better last week, but Gore is old as hell, and all their WR's had shitty games.  This team always looks terrible all year before making a deep playoff run, so we can't write them off yet.  Jamaal Charles needs to play much better, if that's gonna happen.

I didn't realize the NCFFL would be this tough

8.  Llama Fixers (record = 0-1) - The Llama Fixers had a respectable showing in Week 1, but they still got their asses handed to them by the Cobras.  I look at this team, and I see Eddy Lacy, Matty Ice, and a whole bunch of injuries waiting to happen.

Father Time might be catching up to me

9.  Luck Her Right in the Percy (record = 0-1) - It sure looked like Peyton Manning is just about out of gas.  At least, until halftime last night.  Now I don't know what to think.  Team Rickie is in the process of putting a whooping on the Rageaholics, which would bring them back to an even 1-1 record.

LMAO I was his Flex player????

10.  Klem Road Killer Kocks (record = 0-1) - I'm not sure when was the last time the Kocks failed to score 100 points, but it's probably been a while.  Hopefully when Bryant and Gurley come back, this team will actually be a Contender.  Until them, file them under Pretenders.

He really drafted 3 Bucs?

11.  The Smoke-la-homa Beach BirdBang (record = 1-0) - Team BirdBang earned the W this week, and that's a good start.  I'm not sure why they loaded up on Bucs this year…. They're not exactly the 2007 Patriots, am I right?

Get your hands off my Sassy Sauce!

12.  Oklahoma Beach BirdGang (record = 0-1) - Slouch of the week, and praying for a stat correction (he didn't get one), this team is not good.  I'm not sure why Jake was so excited when he drafted Sammy "Best WR On A Team Who Doesn't Pass" Watkins.  What hurts even more than Sammy's goose-egg last week is the fact that the Broncos are an absolute trainwreck, making 1st round pick CJ Anderson look like a bust at the moment.


Well that's it for this week.  Don't forget to PAY YOUR FUCKING DUES.  And also, go fuck yourselves, NCFFL!


~TF