2015 Week 3 Power Rankings

Good afternoon, ladies!  Turd Ferguson here, with your Week 3 Power Rankings!

Things are really starting to heat up here in NCFFL-land, am I right?  We still have 3 undefeated teams, and 2 of them square off this week!  That would be the Cardinals and the Phillips-Skins, of course.  In case you hadn't noticed, any team with a bird-related name has been downright terrible this year, and don't let their 2-0 record fool you...the Cardinals are no different.  For example, they currently have Nick Fales and Scott Chandler in their starting lineup.  Please join me in LOL'ing (Jeff really likes it when you LOL).  Where will the Cardinals fall in my Power Rankings?  Read on and find out, bitch!

Here we go:

Bob is ready to unleash the beast

1.  Oakland Outlaws (record = 1-1) - The Outlaws made it through Le'Veon Bell's suspension with an even 1-1 record, and will now unleash the #1 Fantasy RB on the NCFFL.  Get ready…

You were a little premature on the Tony Romo hairdo, Garret.  I'm sure the Tyrod Taylor one will look great too though!

2.  Forever Unclean (record = 1-1) - After an impressive Week 1 performance, this team laid an egg in Week 2.  Garret will need to guess right every week if he's going to put his best lineup on the field.

My kitty is better at Fantasy Football than most of you queers.

3.  North Penfield Impregnators (record = 2-0) - The 'nators are currently undefeated, as well as the league's highest-scoring team…. All this in spite of their RB's.  This team is pretty top-heavy, so one injury could be a death-blow.

Who has 2 thumbs, and isn't someone you'd want as your starting QB?

4.  Mexican Cobras (record = 1-1) - The Cobras have a slew of injuries at the moment, but they have a very favorable upcoming schedule (their next 4 opponents have a combined record of 2-6), so they might be able to weather this storm.

I'm gonna be SO PISSED if we win the Sack-O again this year!

5.  The Washington Phillips-Skins (record = 2-0) - The Phillips-Skins may finally shed the Sack-O title this year….. But this doesn't look like a championship team either.

If Alex wins the championship again this year, he will adopt this hairstyle.

6.  T. Clifton Rageaholics (record = 1-1) - Tony Clifton has actually put together a pretty solid team this year.  I don't love Russell Wilson, or their TE situation, but they don't really have any glaring weaknesses.

Why did he name his team after Andrew Luck and Percy Harvin, if he wasn't going to draft either of them?

7.  Luck Her Right in the Percy (record = 0-2) - This team has had some bad luck to start the season.  They are 5th highest in Points Scored, but 1st in Points Against.  Things won't be getting any easier, as they face the Kocks this wee…. What's that?   The Kocks suck balls?  Nice!  Savor this victory, Rickie!

Remember back when Jeff's team was good?

8.  Judson Cardinals (record = 2-0) - The Drew Brees injury might hurt….. Then again, maybe not.

Hey DeMarco, how many Yards Per Carry do you think you'll have this season?

9.  Klem Road Killer Kocks (record = 0-2) - The Kocks are one of the lowest-scoring teams in the league, but that could all change very soon.  Gurley and Bryant will both be making their debuts soon, and the Kocks are banking on them to right this ship before it's too late.

He's trying to trade everybody EXCEPT me?  Get me out of this dumpster fire!

10.  Oklahoma Beach BirdGang (record = 0-2) - Considering the fact that it's just a matter of time before Jake's best players end up on other teams, he really needed to start the season with some wins.  Instead, Jake is 0-2, and behind in the count.

The Llama's championship hopes may have driven away on that cart too

11.  Llama Fixers (record = 1-1) - This team should worrry less about fixing Llamas, and more about fixing their roster.  4 of their projected starters are currently injured, and they are running low on quality depth.

Andrew Luck's reaction when he learned that he was drafted by Mike White...

12.  The Smoke-la-homa Beach BirdBang (record = 1-1) - The BirdBang is dead-last in Points Against, but they've only managed to score 150 total points in 2 weeks.  The Sack-O Trophy might not leave 960 Klem Road this year.

Ok, that's it for this week.  Don't forget to pay your dues!!!

~TF